Perimenopause: I thought I was Going Crazy
I went through a lot of life changes in my 40s: sold my home in New Orleans, bought a new one in Baton Rouge, quit my job, left my support system, found a new job, got married, and had an instant family of three to care for. I figured being more emotional was appropriate with all of the new changes.
Some Stats About Menopause
The average age of menopause is 52.54 years, usually between 45-55 years. For Black women it tends to be earlier and lasts longer, hot flashes tend to be more intense and last longer, and Black women tend to be denied hormones more often than other races. Menopause is diagnosed usually when it has been 12 months since your last period. However, people born with female sex organs who have had total hysterectomies (induced menopause) will experience menopause after the surgery.
Below is a graphic highlighting common symptoms of perimenopause:
With the passing of time, things got worse for me. I had an incredible amount of anxiety, my depression felt worse, I cried over everything and in situations where I didn’t want to cry. I was moody and cranky. It became harder for me to remember things and I thought I had aphasia. I felt bad that my husband was stuck with me and asked him if he wanted a divorce. I couldn’t sleep, everything smelled weird, I would wake up in the middle of the night soaked with sweat.
No One Told Me About Perimenopause
Growing up, I went to religious schools and there was no sex ed. In college I know I read Our Bodies Ourselves, but damned if I recall anything about perimenopause. Then I read The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter and I understood what was going on. And boy was I pissed!
Did you know the average MD gets about one lecture’s worth of information on perimenopause/menopause, if any at all?! I did some research online and found the North American Menopause Society. They have an incredible amount of information on their site, including professionals who are experienced and certified in treating menopause. I found a new gyn and got on hormones. The world changed.
Hormone treatment isn’t for every person born with female sex organs and there are contraindications for some. Unfortunately a lot of MDs aren’t up to date on menopause research and are still going by flawed studies that state hormones are bad for women in menopause. There is still so much research that needs to be done.
Although perimenopause and menopause are no laughing matter, I find that things go easier with a little humor. Please click on this link for a good laugh with Menopause Rhapsody: Menopause Rhapsody – Bohemian Rhapsody Parody Song for every Queen.
Wishing you love, happiness, serenity, and joy!
Mechele Evans, LCSW