What is it like living with anxiety?
Living with anxiety can mean different things to different people. To many, it means lying awake at night somehow worrying about everything and nothing at the same time. You sometimes wonder if you’re going crazy. You imagine all the possible ways things can go wrong in your world.
You think you’re just one mistake away from being fired. That if you say something wrong, it’ll mean the end of a relationship- your partner, your friends, even colleagues. You’re constantly on edge.
You think about all the ways that things can go wrong, and you try to prepare yourself for what you feel is inevitable doom.
If that’s not enough to keep you up at night, then you replay conversations, past interactions. You think about the ways in which you could have done better, the things that you could have said differently, the things you wish you would have done instead.
Living with anxiety is like a dream in which you can’t fully open your eyes. You’re struggling to see what’s right in front of you. And because you can’t see clearly what’s around you, you imagine the worst. You feel terrified all the time, like something bad is going to happen but you don’t know what.
Living with anxiety is like wading in mud. It weighs you down. Your whole body feels heavy. Your chest is tight. Your stomach is in knots. Sometimes you struggle to breathe. Other times you wish you could just succumb to the anxiety and fade away.
Anxiety is more common than most people think
I know that it’s little consolation to hear that 1 in 4 adults will struggle with anxiety in their lifetime. What I want you to take away from that statistic is that you’re not alone.
Anxiety has a way of convincing us that we are the only one- the only one who struggles. Everyone else just seems to be going on about their lives without a care in the world. Throw into the mix the social media effect that makes nearly everyone’s lives look more glamorous than they really are, and it makes sense that you feel like a failure.
You’re not a failure, and you’re not alone.
Many people who have anxiety avoid talking about it with friends or family members. There’s a good chance that someone close to you is also wrestling with anxiety- feeling inferior, worrying about both their past and their future, avoiding others to not “bring them down.”
The good news, however, is that there are experienced anxiety therapists who know how to help you manage your anxiety. Because this is something that many people struggle with, we know how to treat anxiety and help you get your life back on track- to breathe easier and worry less.
Anxiety and Depression make for dysfunctional bedfellows
It’s not uncommon for someone who struggles with anxiety to also feel depressed from time to time. Some of the symptoms of depression you may experience include:
- Fatigue
- Brain fog
- Muscle tension
- Insomnia
- Agitation or irritability
- Excessive hunger or loss of appetite
What do all of these things have in common? They can also be symptoms of anxiety.
People who struggle with anxiety often also have issues with their self-esteem and self-worth. They may feel worthless or guilty… just like someone might if they were depressed.
Luckily, the treatment for anxiety and the treatment for depression is often the same.
Feel like you again
Every client is different, so there is no one-size-fits-all approach to treating anxiety. There are, however, many similarities in their journeys. When I work with anxious clients, one of the first steps is identifying what might be causing the anxiety.
Some clients know exactly when they started feeling anxious. It could be after a car accident, a difficult break-up, or even after the birth of a child. For those who experienced a significant event that has led them to feel as though they can’t cope or has caused them prolonged discomfort, we may use a technique called EMDR to help resolve the trauma. Click here to learn more about EMDR.
Other clients tell me that they have always felt anxious and aren’t really sure why. It’s not uncommon for them to tell me that they actually worry about worrying too much. They think something is wrong with them.
The first thing we do is work toward accepting their anxiety as a part of them. Right or wrong, good or bad, their anxiety simply is. Acceptance doesn’t mean we’re okay with it though!
Once we can acknowledge the anxiety and recognize the part that it has played in our lives, the real work begins. Often this means dissecting the negative thoughts and the negative self-talk that has plagued you for a long time.
It’s important that we tweak and modify these negative thoughts into something more realistic. For example, many clients say they’re a failure. One way we might restructure this thought is to say, “I am a person who has tried and, at times, has not succeeded in the way that I had imagined.”
Do I really need therapy for anxiety?
I don’t think the statistic I shared with you earlier is realistic- that 1 in 4 adults will struggle with anxiety. I actually think it’s much higher than that.
I have seen countless clients who otherwise look perfectly healthy: they have great jobs, loving families, contribute to their 401k… but on the inside, they’re struggling. They have so many balls in the air and are terrified they might drop one.
Anxiety doesn’t always mean being frozen in fear. The truth is that high-functioning anxiety can look like perfectionism. It can look like someone who has it all together, someone who never misses a meeting or deadline, someone who always gets the job done, someone who is reliable and dependable. All good things in their own right, but underneath they’re gasping for air, staying busy because they don’t think they can stop.
They often feel like the weight of the world is on their shoulders, and if they falter, even for a second, it’ll all come crashing down around them.
The panic attacks take place in the car, in the shower, or in the closet. Just because no one sees the anxiety doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
It’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to do it all on your own.
What if talking about my anxiety makes it worse?
I’ve met several clients over the years who thought that if they just pushed through, if they just worked harder, their anxiety would resolve on its own. Spoiler alert: It didn’t.
The great thing is that therapy for anxiety doesn’t mean always talking about your anxiety. The treatment for anxiety also includes skills-building. This can range from keeping thought journals to meditation to simply finding activities to help you unwind.
The journey to calm is about finding what works for you. Sometimes we will talk about your anxiety; sometimes we won’t.
There is a chance that it will get worse before it gets better. It’s true: change is hard… but staying the same can be harder.
Anxiety doesn’t have to control your life
If you’re ready to start anxiety therapy in Baton Rouge or have further questions, don’t hesitate to reach out to me at (225) 366-8606. I know you’re anxious. I know that picking up the phone can be terrifying, so you can also schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
