We grieve about so many things:
the death of a loved one, the loss of an opportunity, our health, the loss of a relationship, the loss of innocence, the lack of having a childhood, the death of a dream, the loss of functioning, and the ensuing dependence on someone else to meet our needs.
Grief is a tricky process, and it takes as long as it takes. Sometimes, we may feel that we have grieved something, only to find that months or years later that sadness has returned. Do not rush your grief, or you’ll become stuck in it, and it will take longer to get through it than it would have otherwise.
According to Kubler Ross’ theory on grief, there are five stages we go through:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
These stages do not necessarily go in order, and you can be in more than one stage at a time.
Denial: is when we’re in denial about the loss; perhaps, we tell ourselves that the loss never happened.
Anger: can be anger at the situation, or the person that has passed. It’s ok to feel the anger – just make sure if you express it you do so appropriately.
Bargaining: this may be with your higher power, the universe, etc. We state that we’ll make a change if this grief, pain, loss can be taken away.
Depression: we can get depressed due to the loss.
Acceptance: is when we finally acknowledge that the loss has happened, that there is nothing we can do about it, and move on. It doesn’t mean we won’t be sad, but it means that we embrace the sadness, and move on with our lives.
Often we can resolve our grief on our own. Sometimes, we get stuck in it and need professional help to get through the grief process.
Don’t pretend that it’s not happening, or stuff your feelings, because this will make the process longer and more difficult.
If you find yourself stuck, don’t hesitate to seek help to guide you through this process.
Wishing you much happiness and serenity,