A more in-depth look at IFS Therapy
Internal family systems therapy, or IFS therapy, is a therapy that Richard Schwartz, Ph.D. created in the 1980s. Internal Family Systems is an evidence-based form of psychotherapy. It states that we have a collection of parts and a core Self and that each part protects other parts and helps us to protect and manage other parts. Our core Self knows what we need to heal, but sometimes it can be hard for us to connect to that Self and heal.
A sub-personality, or part, is a concept used to describe the idea that an individual’s personality is not a singular, unified entity, but rather a complex system made up of various sub-parts, each with its own characteristics, emotions, and roles. In Internal Family Systems, these parts can be thought of as the different “sides” of a person’s personality that emerge in different situations or contexts.
Key points about sub-personalities
- Multiplicity of the Self: Sub-personalities suggest that the self is not singular, but rather composed of multiple parts, each representing a different facet of the individual’s personality.
- Roles and Functions: Sub-personalities, or parts, can have distinct roles, functions, and characteristics. For example, one part might be assertive and confident, while another might be timid and reserved.
- Context-Dependent: Parts often emerge in response to specific situations or triggers. For instance, a person may exhibit one sub-personality at work and a different one in social settings.
- Emotions and Beliefs: Each part can have its own set of emotions, beliefs, and values. For example, one part may hold strong religious beliefs, while another may be more skeptical.
- Integration and Harmony: IFS therapy focuses on integrating these parts for a more cohesive and harmonious self. This process can lead to greater self-awareness and emotional well-being.
- Internal Conflict: When parts are in conflict with each other, it can lead to inner turmoil and confusion. IFS therapy can help resolve these conflicts and achieve greater balance.
- Internal Dialogue: People may experience an internal dialogue or conversations between their various parts. This can be helpful for understanding one’s thoughts, emotions, and motivations.
Types of Parts
In Internal Family Systems, there are two different types of parts: Exiles and Protectors. These parts form our internal family, or system.
Exiles
Exiles are formed (often in childhood) when we experience shame, emotional or physical pain, bullying, or trauma (remember, trauma is different for everyone and doesn’t need to be something like going to war). These Exiles are parts of us that are locked away and guarded by our protector parts, in an attempt to keep us from feeling their pain. Protectors don’t think the system can handle the pain of the exiles; however, getting to know these parts, having compassion for them, and helping them heal is the best way to heal ourselves.
Protectors
There are three types of Protectors:
- Protectors that keep the Exiles locked away to “protect” us.
- Managers are essential for daily life, they can become dysregulated, leading to issues like perfectionism or harsh self-criticism. Their goal is to keep the individual functioning in socially acceptable ways.
- Fire Fighters are the last line of defense and they are extreme. They show up when the Exiles have been triggered and the Managers have failed to keep us from feeling the Exile’s pain. They use distractions to keep us from feeling the pain such as: self-harm, drugs, alcohol, excessive spending, gambling, sex, or eating (things that are not helpful to us and which may actually harm us).
Protectors try very hard to keep us from being overwhelmed or feeling pain, but they don’t always have the most helpful ways of doing so. They just want to do their job and make sure our system is protected, even if it means we don’t like them and wish they would stop.
Self
The Self is separate from the protectors and exiles, the core of who we are. It is our essential nature—our curious, calm, and compassionate center. In an ideally balanced system, Self would be the one leading all the parts. It would mediate their instincts, care for the exiles, and help the managers and firefighters use their talents to create a harmonious inner life free of conflict.
Sometimes we can feel so overwhelmed by the number of dysregulated parts asking for attention that we lose sight of Self. When that happens, it is as if the Self is the sun behind the clouds (parts), it’s there, but you can’t see it. Self can become so blended with the other parts that it is prevented from fulfilling its role as guide. With IFS we can learn to respectfully separate from these parts and reconnect to Self. When all of the parts feel respected they will learn to trust Self and allow it to lead our system, allowing us to feel more safe and able to grow.
The 8 C’s
One way to tell if we are in Self is by the Eight Cs or the 5 Ps. Being in Self feels different than being in our parts. Some say they feel lighter, more stable or free. Others note a sense of playfulness, gratitude, or joy. Some feel an expansion in the area of their chest as if their heart is more open. The body may feel lighter, breathing is deeper and smoother. Facial muscles may feel relaxed.
Curiosity – curiosity leads you to honestly want to know what’s going on with your parts and you feel open to them and don’t have an agenda to change them.
Calm – a sense of calm helps you feel at peace, and feel a spaciousness in your system or in your body or heart.
Confidence – by cultivating confidence, you’re not afraid to engage your fearful or wounded parts because Self can handle it.
Compassion – with compassion, you want to help relieve the suffering of your parts and you feel love towards all of your parts, even the ones that you may have problems understanding or agreeing with.
Clarity – clarity allows you to see your parts for what they truly are. Parts can start out looking big and scary, but when they know Self wants to help them they may transform into the wounded children they really are (not all parts are young, but many are).
Creativity – creativity helps you find unique and adaptive solutions to challenges, both internal and external. When faced with obstacles or conflicts among your parts, you can use creative thinking to develop strategies for harmonizing your system and addressing these challenges effectively.
Courage – with courage, Self is present and you’re no longer terrified to connect to your exiles and their pain.
Connectedness – being in Self makes you feel connected to something greater than ourselves. You feel more willing to connect to your internal system and have a greater desire to connect with others.
*All information is based on Dick Schwartz’s Internal Family Systems Therapy.
If you’re interested in trying IFS therapy, call me now at (225) 366-8606 for a free phone consultation.