It Is Insidious, and It Never Goes Away.
Stress, we all have it. Stress, like Type I Diabetes, is something that never goes away. There are things that we can do to manage it better and to have less of it, but we will always have some in our lives. There’s good stress, which is called eustress and gives us energy and drive to focus – and there’s regular stress.
What things make you stressed? When we know what our stressors are, we most likely won’t get as stressed out when they pop up. Usually the reason we stress about something is because of what we tell ourselves about the upcoming event. Have you ever had this thought while in school? “I don’t feel like I studied enough, and I know I am going to fail this test.” Most of us have, and most of us didn’t fail. Those of us that are worriers, though, repeatedly had this worry and believed it.
Introverts Unite – Outside of the House This Time!
Or how many of us introverts have had a social event to attend and convinced ourselves that we shouldn’t go? “No one will talk to me. I won’t know anyone there. I will be miserable. I will feel stupid because they’re going to talk about things I don’t know about…” Come on, introverts, you’ve had some of these thoughts, no? And usually what ends up happening? Either you don’t go and wonder if you might have had a good time, or you go and it’s really not as bad as your monkey mind made it up to be.
How much more enjoyable would your life be if you didn’t have these stressful thoughts? Having constant negative thoughts, or even frequent negative thoughts, or what-if-ing takes up so much energy! If you can train that monkey mind, you will have an abundance of time and energy that is nothing like you would have dreamed of. It’s really worth it.
Procrastinators – Take the reins!
And what about you, you darling procrastinators out there? You may not know why you procrastinate, but for most of us it’s because we fear failing. If we never get to it, we can’t fail, right? And if we put it off long enough, we’ll never have to face the discomfort of that action. Except, for most procrastinators we do have to face the thing they don’t want to do/fear doing.
I had an issue with procrastination about getting rid of my books, and every morning I would wake up and my eyes would be drawn to my overfilled bookshelf. My books no longer fit that bookshelf and were all over the floor.
What if I got rid of the wrong book!? What if I needed a book later, and I had gotten rid of it!? What if Stephen King suddenly died and my books were worth millions, but I had gotten rid of them!?
See, monkey mind in action. I did eventually get rid of the books, and, fortunately, Stephen King is still alive and kicking. Did I need any of those books again? No. Did I nostalgically miss them? From time to time; but, it felt better to not fall over books every morning.
Here’s something you most likely don’t want to hear if you have a lot of stress. It’s pretty scary, so continue on at your own risk… Here it comes…
YOU CONTROL YOUR OWN STRESS! Well, mostly; you couldn’t control me yelling at you just then, but if it stressed you it most likely was because of the things that you told yourself about being yelled at. We get stressed because the way we look at things, the way we interpret them, the way we perceive them. And these perceptions are all under your control.
Think of one little thing that stresses you out. Let’s say that you have a parent that seems to still think you’re a kid. “Make sure you wear your galoshes when it rains!” they may say. You know what kind of footwear you need in the rain, and you’ve asked them to stop doing it, but they won’t. Can you change anyone else? No, you can’t, and we’ll get to that in another post. But you can change, what? You! You can change you and your perceptions, and your interpretations.
When your parent tells you to put on the galoshes, don’t think, “Oh, there they go again, treating me like I’m four again. I hate that!” Try to interpret and think differently. Maybe tell yourself, “It’s so nice that my parent loves me so much they don’t want me to have wet feet,” or, “They just want me to be comfortable, and it’s hard to do that in wet socks.” Whatever you change your thoughts to, make them positive, don’t perceive what’s said in a negative light.
Is it easy? Of course not, but growth rarely is. Think about it. Then do it!
Wishing you less monkey mind, happiness, and serenity,
Mechele